For two consecutive days we met healers who were in a strange, happily depressed state.
"We haven’t been able to heal ourselves for a few days…we know it’s so bad, but…" and they looked away with a surreptitious smile. Their body posture was humble and at the same time there was an expressive uplifted tilt of achievement in the way they held their head.
"That’s perfectly alright," we said mildly.
"But, but this is so bad of me, us!" they protested serially.
We laughed. "Isn’t this such delicious guilt!"
"Aha-ha!" they protested with smiles.
"But it is such delicious guilt!," we said. They laughed. "We all love to be go guilty because it’s so totally guiltalicious!" Lots of laughter this time.
"We like feeling guilty!" More amusement.
"Yes,we all like the taste of feeling we are so bad—look at Michael Jackson, he kept repeating 'I’m so bad!' for so many years, and what did it get him? You know the principle of 'like attracts like'… Although Renooji scanned him and saw that he is actually not guilty of what he is being accused of... it's his Rahu energies that are giving him the defamation."
Everyone was smiling broadly by then. They were in distinguished company! "But, Sir,” said a visitor with a self-deprecating gesture, "isn’t this wrong…?"
We considered this for a moment."What’s wrong?" we asked him then. "When we are judgmentally oriented and when we start to judge ourselves, this process of being deliciously guilty allows us to freely judge and blame others as well. This is the key. If there is so much enjoyment in being 'so bad'—then if we consider others to be 'badder' than us, it is only a natural progression of our freedom to be critical. We are addicted to this—guilt-aholics, guilt-addicts enjoying guiltaliciously!”
This time the amusement mixed with the wonder of uncomfortable revelation.
"Yes, yes!" the group was nodding and saying.
"But you have mixed feelings…it is difficult to give up judging oneself. Passing judgment allows us the freedom not to move, not to change." There was a long pause.
"But one can change this by connecting to the heart energies of unconditional love and remember that, no matter how guilty we are, how hopelessly fallen we consider ourselves to be, in all situations and all circumstances only the Divine loving light is committed to being with us unconditionally. No one else."
The group considered this. "So this means we must practice forgiving ourselves, not judging, and then we shall be free of the burden of pain?"
"Yes," we agreed. "This condemnation perpetuates the pain of being guilty. Being guilty prevents us from moving forward to rectify that which needs to be harmonized.
"This 'guilty' means I am so bad that the situation must continue as it is doing—I don't have to do anything more. The judgment and its consequences are my punishment—So then we stay where we are with such delicious guilt. We are unable to move or change anything.
The bottom line is: "Delicious guilt is an expensive luxury. Can you afford it?"
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